Meanwhile, en El Jueves...

 Publicado en El Jueves, septiembre-octubre 2022.

 

I want trans kids to live

I want trans kids to live, and transphobes to die.

This is the gist of my thoughts at the moment. I would hate for the essence of my stance to be muddled, so I’m stating it right out of the gate.

Sadly I am a writer, a trade whose power to change the world, I’m afraid, has been greatly exaggerated. And I am still figuring out what in my capacity could I possibly do to act upon my wants. But if I know something about my modest readership is that they’re mostly younger than me, and that around 111% of them are gay as fuck. So, just in case words alone may be of any comfort for a trans person today, this is for you. 

Hey, kid. How’re you doing. Yeah, I know. Fuck that.

Okay so this won’t be a life-changer, but I guess I have to say it anyway: I need you to live. Not because I believe in the sanctity of life (I don’t). Nor because I expect great things from you (I’m a natural born slacker, so no pressure from me). I need you to live, actually, because I do believe, and this is a core belief of mine, that you are on the good side of history, and that the world always moves forwards. Always. Since the dawn of humans, progress has been unstoppable. And these periods where progress seems to stall, like we’re being steered backwards?  They’re just bumps in the road. I swear, you zoom out far enough, you’ll see they don’t amount to a hiccup. A blip. And I would hate for you to miss on the rest of the journey just because we hit a big bump. Yeah, it feels big now, but we’ll get over it.  Trans people in the future will call this millennium “the one where we flourished,” and 2025 in the USA will be known as “the momentary unpleasantness.”

Listen, it is so fucking unfair that you’re given this period in history without you having any say in it. I know. As Gandalf said—well, we all know what Gandalf said, that old lankyfuck is smart. But the truth is there are bumps in the road more often than not, you know. The day monkeys first stood on two legs, some stupid ape insisted we should all stay on all fours, for tradition’s sake or something. He was the first republican. But despite him and his pesky kin, look how far we’ve come. Generation after generation of whiny conservatives yammering on, “we’re moving too fast,” “change is bad,” and look at all we accomplished in spite of them. Trains! Socks! Writing! Ice cream! That’s amazing. What’s next? I’ll tell you what’s next: trans rights. You being able to be you, and your opponents feeling like the little shits they are and always were. Because they have not evolved. They’re the same little shits who opposed gay people, and Black people, and women voting, and different gods being worshiped—they’ve been wrong at every stage in history, and they always, always lose and die.

And that’s what will happen here. All these fucking neonazis and überdivorcedmensch that are hindering our progress now, all the broligarchs and bilderberg fratscum, all the trademark American idiots, all the book-banning, pearl-clutching, flag-molesting, bible-fingering, gun-blowjobbing, cousin-humping, wife-beating subproletarian turds, all those uniform-stuffers, them Nuremberg-defense moral cunts, all the cops who are all bastards who are all cops who are all bastards, all the careerist sycophants and wannabillionaires, all the brainwashers and their corporate sponsors, all the centrist furniture, all the conflict-avoiders and aisle-reachers, all the advocates for quiet thanksgivings, all the just-asking-questions op-editors, all the yes-men and bootlickers, all the spineless stupid monkeys who don’t dare stand up—they all will die. And I hope for their sake that their money can buy them some mourners, because as far as I’m concerned, I will be laughing and whooping through their funerals.

And I will love to have you by my side. 

Fix Your Heart or Die

To all trans and nonbinary people:

To all republicans and moderates:

Design credit: JCP

Gangsta Major

Acabar un manuscrit > pujada d'èxtasi. Us ho diu algú que mai ha provat l'èxtasi.

Ènigüei: cert murri adorable de La Llobera i Volpenars té segona novel·la. Escrita, almenys. I aquests són alguns dels ingredients que han anat a parar a l'olla, per si us ve de gust un tíser.

Moodboards similars per altres manuscrits: 1 - 2 - 3

Bones festes.

Press Alert: La Sotana!

Doncs sí. Vaig anar a La Sotana, un programa d'esports és a dir de futbol és a dir del Barça és a dir de Messi, i tot i que jo sé tant de "foòtball" com els sotaneros saben de literatura, ens ho vam passar molt bé. I al programa es nota. El teniu sencer aquí.

Des d'aquí, gràcies al Magí, l'Andreu, l'Enric, el Joel i el Manel per l'acte de promoció que més ressò ha tingut a les meves xarxes, amb diferència. El nou paradigma i tota l'hòstia.

I ara, a continuar escrivint la seqüela.